I have been thinking about how to explain the inevitable failures of development work in Malawi without sounding too negative. I know this post has a very negative title to it, but I'm perfectly fine with it's contents, so no need to ask "What's wrong?" or "Are you ok?" It isn't all libraries and kittens.
I'm going to use an example from my service. This definitely isn't my only failure. I've had many. Countless. However, I see it as my largest failure because I not only cost someone else money, I let down my students, and worst of all, I was unable to follow through with my promises.
I'm a new PCV. I've only been at site a couple months, and the opportunity to attend a training for a new program in Malawi. Not only does this opportunity arise, but my wonderfully supportive site-mate is not highly encouraging me to attend, but is also organizing it. I got to see her doing the program during my site visit, so I'm excited at the idea of starting myself. And, she has a counterpart that would be perfect for me!
I travel to the training with another site mate, Aaron (the birth of our friendship is playing Civ4 in our room far too late into the night at this training), and our counterparts. I'm excited! This is my first time traveling since moving to site. Aaron shows me traveling like a bwana. The training is being held at a nice beach front lodge in Senga Bay. No problems on transport.
The training goes wonderfully with awesome facilitators! We have a blast! I learn a lot and I get to know a lot of other great PCVs and their counterparts.
After returning to site, my counterpart and I plan on using our training and starting an after-school club at Thunduti CDSS. I teach all day, so it's easy for me to be ready for the club after school. My counterpart, who volunteers at a nearby CBO (Community Based Organisation), says he'll get there so we can start right after school. The first session goes great and the kids love it! The second session comes around, and he is a bit late. That's ok. The kids are still so excited they're willing to wait.
Keep in mind, this is right after-school, so 1:30pm, and most of these kids haven't eaten breakfast, let alone lunch. Over the next few weeks, my counterpart shows up later or he doesn't show up at all. Even when I call and confirm he'll be there on time. Even when I come back early and skip the Super Bowl Party in Mzuzu just for a session. The kids wait with me on my house porch, but if he's more than 30 minutes late, they just disperse, disappointed. I tried holding one of the sessions without him, but without a translator (the kids get most of my English, but it helps to still translate important things) or the energy from a second facilitator, it doesn't go well. I finally meet with my counterpart, and tell him he needs to start coming early or warning us because the kids are losing interest. He says he will. He doesn't. His phone stops working. His attendance gets even worse. He starts missing more than he makes. An entire month goes by without a session.
Finally, I pull the plug. The kids still want to do the program, so I begin searching for a new counterpart. I decide to ask a recent college-graduate teacher at my school. He's perfect! He's already the PE teacher, so we can do the sessions in class. He's also a very excited teacher that I've always enjoyed chatting and working with.
We arranged a period that we'll do the sessions and I ensure that I will always be around at that time. He read through the manual, and at the start of this academic year we begin working with the kids. It's a big group, and my new counterpart seems a little less energetic than I expected, but the kids still seem to really enjoy it. I'm happy that things will finally work out!
The next week, my new counterpart disappears before our class period. The week after that, the school dismisses the students early. Over the course of the entire term, I make myself available all but three weeks, yet we only manage to meet twice. That's ok, there's always the second term.
Nope. The first month of the second term yields not a single session, even though I have made myself completely available throughout the week. The students are asking when we will start meeting again. They want to do the program. I want to do the program. Sadly, in this line of work, an audience and motivation is not always enough.
Since then, I half-heatedly tried a couple more times. Yet, I now have had to admit to myself that I will not been able to implement my training in my service. I have taken grant money to attend a training, but have yielded minimal results. I have failed.
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